TWO WEEKS SOBER TODAY!!!!

That's right. Neither Mike nor I have had a drink in TWO WEEKS. This is huge.

I've gotten through Step Three in my workbook, where I read something that really helps me grasp the idea of surrendering my will to God. It says that Step Three is simply being willing to give control of my will and my life to God. The actual surrender comes slowly as I work through the next eight steps. Okay, that I can handle. I can handle turning over a little at a time. I am willing. Three steps down, nine to go.

The next one scares the crap out of me. It involves taking a fearless, honest moral inventory. Crap. I am a degenerate... an honest inventory could take a damn long time. It will be volumes of character flaws that need to go away. And I will probably feel bad about myself in the process. I don't like feeling bad about myself.

One downfall of not drinking: I am so frickin' HUNGRY. When I was drinking, I rarely ate. I had liquid breakfasts on the weekends, no breakfast during the week, and liquid dinners almost every night. Now I am starving. I've gained a pound or two, which is entirely unacceptable. I have a damned muffin top. Yuck. I've been working out on our Wii Fit, which hopefully will help. Today my abs are burning from Super Hula Hoop, and my arms are burning from Rhythmic Boxing. I actually worked up a sweat for the first time in a long time. Doing actual exercise, anyway.

I'm picking up my little ones in about an hour. I'm excited to see them. I miss them. This is a far cry from when I was drinking; then they mainly annoyed me because they harshed my buzz. I feel bad about those times. I know I can't erase them, but I can start over and try to be a better mom. I hope my kids will forgive me enough to let me try.

Anyhow, 2 weeks sober and not looking back, except to make that damned moral inventory.....