The Heathen Speaks!

Are you there, God? It's me, Boozehound...

I just can't figure out how to open up this conversation with God in which I admit that I fucked up royally and beg Him to make it all better. I got nothin'.

I turned my back on Him years ago, and have been happily living a godless life. I haven't really even missed Him.

So now that I need him to save me and fix me, how do I come crawling back and take back the last few years? How do I relearn a trust that I tried so hard to abandon? How do I reopen a relationship that I slammed shut without a single backward glance?

I don't even know where to start. Do I open the Bible (after I wipe the years' worth of dust off it)and hope that something jumps out at me? Do I get out my old Christian CDs that used to speak to me and see if anything triggers? Do I just start talking, hoping that Someone is listening, and hoping that I don't get struck by lightning? Do I seek out a "Good Christian" whom I used to trust and ask him/her where to start?

I don't know I don't know I don't know!

All I know is that we need to talk, and soon.

How's this for a start: God, if you're out there and you still love me, please help me figure out how to come back to you, and how to approach this third step to sobriety. I guess I'll just wait to hear from you...