Last week

I had a fabulous week with my kids.

My alone time with my youngest son was spent either being tutored in Godzilla Unleashed for PS2, or watching ghost hunting shows with his head on my lap and me rubbing his head. My time with my youngest daughter was spent playing Cooked or Be Cooked, Bowling or Golf on the Wii. Both kids were calmer, happier and better behaved than I've seen them in a long time. Hell, I was calmer, happier and better behaved than I've been in a long time.

On Friday, my little girl told me she's much happier to come home to me now that I'm not drinking. I'm much happier, too.

Maybe too happy. Is there such a thing???

I seem to have this freakish joy that just bubbles over all day. Even when my day is kinda crappy, I can find something to be happy about. There are a few people at work who are looking at me strangely, like I have a booger hanging from my nose or a huge zit between my eyes. I can assure you, I have neither. I check multiple times a day. But it's that, "Okay, there's something going on here, but I'm afraid it may be a huge breach of etiquette to ask you why you're grinning like a demented jack-o-lantern" look. Maybe I need to tone it down a notch... I wonder if I could....

I feel different. People are telling me I'm different. I'd love to know just how I've changed, but I'm afraid to ask.

I feel an overwhelming need to deepen my reconnection with God. I'm considering trying out an addiction/recovery Bible study this weekend. I'm even considering showing up for church on Sunday. (Crap... did I just hear thunder rolling in the distance???)We'll see what happens. Even though faith is nothing new to me, it's harder to find this time.

As for my health, I'm sleeping well, eating okay, and physically feeling much better. I've been off Ativan for a week or so, and I'm following the strict vitamin/mineral regemin my doctor prescribed. I've been trying to keep up with the Wii Fit, although I missed most of last week because I wanted to spend time with the kids instead. According to the Wii balance board (what an annoying voice that thing has), I've lost a couple pounds. This is a good thing. I have to lose about 7 more to reach my fitness goal, but I have another month to work on that. As I write this, I'm eating stale Twizzlers... I suppose that really doesn't help much.

Next Wednesday I will have been sober for 30 days. It seems so unreal. I haven't gone this long without drinking in YEARS. It feels really good to be present each and every day. Thank you, God, for this new lease on life.