One Month

As of yesterday, Mike and I have been sober for one month. Yay us.

I tried that Addiction and Recovery Bible Study last Saturday... soooooo not for me. It was totally geared for people who have several years of sobriety under their belts and are sponsoring newcomers. The leader even went so far as to poke fun at newcomers for being "honeymooners" and "pink cloud people," meaning that we're so enamored with our new found sobriety that we lose touch with reality and are sure to relapse, and hit bottom hard. He went on and on about how none of his sponsees have stayed sober, and about how the more excited a newcomer is about their sobriety, the more likely he/she is to crash and burn. I was actually quite offended. I thought the guy was kind of an arrogant prick. I wanted to ask if he's ever considered the fact that his sponsees are more likely to relapse because of his own obvious douchebaggery.

His study sucked ass to boot. His Scripture references had nothing to do with his proposed topic. He rambled, got off topic, whatever the hell his topic was supposed to be, and basically ended up trying to seem super cool and special, as in, "God gave me a great gift in my ability to preach, and I'm here to share my gift with you." Yeah, Dillhole... I got your gift right here. I could've taught a more comprehensive, meaningful Bible study falling-down drunk.

And just being in the church in a capacity other than to pick up my kids made my skin crawl. Needless to say, I did not go on Sunday morning. I just could not muster it up.

Bad Christian? Yeah, probably. Am I apologizing? Hell no I'm not. Not ready is not ready. When I am ready, and that means when the thought of sitting through a Sunday morning service doesn't cause me to hyperventilate and feel like hurling, I'll get off my ass and go to church. I'll be the one who sneaks in ten minutes late, sits in the back corner with sunglasses on the whole time, and leaves the second the closing hymn starts. You'll know me by the lightning rod strapped to my back.

I know of a few people who will read this and sadly shake their heads at my spiritual depravity. Pardon my French, but those people can bite me.