Yuck, but I'm proud of myself too.

One thing I have learned: I have no clue how to deal with negative emotions without drinking.

A month ago, whenever I was hurt, angry, stressed, sad, whatever, I drank until the bad feelings went away. Now I have nowhere to hide, nothing to do but FEEL it. Ouch. It does not feel good. I don't like it one bit.

I had a crappy, stressful weekend that went from bad to worse and ended hideously. Last night, I just had to get away from the apartment to sort out my head. I could not sit there one more second.

I wanted to go to Big Louie's so bad... it was Karaoke night and everything... I wanted to go so bad I could taste the Jag running down my throat. I wanted to drink my anger, hurt and feelings of betrayal into oblivion like I always have. I almost turned into the parking lot.

Almost.

Instead, I went to the Alano Club and hung out with sober, recovering people for a couple hours. One of the ladies held me while I cried and even rubbed my neck, and then I watched a group of people play Texas Hold 'Em for a while. They invited me to play, but I don't know how.

Anyhow, all that to say that I stayed sober. Thank God, I stayed sober last night.

Things don't feel any better at home, but I am still sober one more day.