Four Months

This sobriety thing gets easier as you go along.

I find I don't think about booze very often anymore. In fact, I had a technical glitch at work last week that made me FURIOUS. One of my coworkers said, "Wow, after that I'd need a stiff drink!" I kind of laughed, because that hadn't even crossed my mind as an option or a desire. The only thing that came to my mind was, "Man, I'd like a smoke!"
I guess that's what you'd call progress.

Here's a bummer: I'm sooooo stuck on my 4th step! It was easy to make a list of people I have resentments toward, and to work through that list to discover what my part in the situation was, what part of myself was threatened, and how I contributed to the negativity of the situation. I can be pretty objective about that stuff when I'm sober. Here's the really tough thing: Delving into my fears. What they are, why they are, how I feed them. I can't do it! I cannot face my fears! Don't ask my why. I can't look at my fears without becoming emotional.

Progress, not perfection. I just have to keep telling myself that... Progress, not perfection.