Two Months!

Today I have been sober for 67 days. Mike too. This last month was difficult on an emotional level, but we managed to stay sober.

Sorry I haven't been very good about the updates. I've been exhausted and uninspired for a month straight. I'm in the middle of another fibromyalgia flare-up, and it really, really hurts. In the past, I drank until it didn't hurt anymore. Now all I can do is take Tylenol, which doesn't even touch the pain. I won't take Lyrica, because it has addictive properties. That's the only drug out there that can touch fibro pain, or so I've heard. Thankfully, Mike understands my pain and exhaustion and is very gentle with me, protective of me, and very caring. I appreciate him more and more as time goes on.

By the way, I got my hair bleached out. I decided it's time for a little sun and lightness in my life. I'm turning in dark and dangerous for light and fun. I've been toying with the idea of going platinum blonde for a couple months, and decided now's the time. Pictures to follow.

I've also found that three meetings a week just do not fit into my lifestyle. I'm a busy single mom, and I have errands to run and appointments to keep, on top of caring for and nurturing my children and spending time with my partner. I'm finding that two meetings a week, and sometimes only one a week, is about all I can manage without totally exhausting myself. Especially now, when I'm physically feeling like crap and all I can think of at 4 PM is going home, putting on flannel jammies, and laying on the couch to watch TV and nap and try to regain some of the strength and energy that have been sapped during my work day. My sponsor aggrees that it's okay to fit the Program into your life, instead of making your life (and everyone in it) revolve around the Program. I've seen moms who are so engrossed in the Program, that their children are kind of getting lost. One plays Texas Hold'Em at the club several times a week until midnight or 1 AM, while her 5 yr old wanders aimlessly around the room, sometimes being called on to collect or hand out poker chips. I always feel bad for that kid. Most of his life is spent up at the Alano Club, and he is getting molded into his mother's program. I wonder if it's messing him up. When does he get to do kid things? Does he have any friends who aren't recovering adult alcoholics? Does he get to play with kids his own age?

Anyhow... enough of my musings. Life is manageable, even happy a lot of the time, and I am in recovery. Two months and counting.